#but darklina aside i like mal but his romance with alina is just kinda there

[omgthisisnotmyrealaccount]

finally watched season 2 of shadow and bone and like the issue with that show (outside of the bad acting lmao) is that the plot happens in one story line but the fun happens in the other 

like alina babes i don’t care about your search for the hot bird im sorry

[stromuprisahat]

Zlatá Malina (Golden Raspberry), pt. 3

Shadow and Bone- Chapter 21

Presumably their last night together, before the Big Bad Darkling feeds one of these deserters to volcra. (I guess being shot to death in front of his fellow soldiers would be preferred...) A lot of melodrama, hand-holding and some horrible(y nostalgic) memories...

Let’s forget a whole night together is more than any reasonable officer would allow them.

Three days in “captivity”, believing the world is about to be destroyed, and this is all Alina can think about: MalMalMal...

Our heroine, ladies and gentleman.

It’s also funny- a public execution of a deserter is “cruelty”... in a world, where people are burned alive merely for the crime of existing.

Sometimes I wish Sasha was threatening less and acting more. Less bark, more bite. If “all the mercy traitors deserve” was none. We could’ve been rid of Malyen, and Alina would have two books to grow.

Or kill that fucking deer, rendering it useless...

Don’t worry Alina, Mal doesn’t mind you’re tainted. He stuck his dick in worse places... I don’t care if it’s just clumsy formulation, the implication’s gross.

Also: I need a Darklina rooftop sex fic ASAP!

For someone this self-aware he acts (un)surprisingly worse whole next book. Oh, wait, his fragile male ego will be threatened by his more powerful gf, I get it...

a.) Recently we’ve discussed what could Malina talk about post-TGT, since Malyen hates reminders she was Grisha and the Darkling existed. So here it is: glorified childhood on repeat.

b.) Kinda funny first thing they remember about “beloved mother figure” is “anger”... And we’re supposed to be upset, when she dies...

c.) Alina “My life has been hard” Starkov. Alina “I know what it means to be an outsider struggling to survive.” Starkov. Alina “It’s hot outside, so let’s lie on marble fucking floors to cool down” Starkov.

It’s obvious they were so busy and well-guarded, they had no free time to seek comfort anyone else could... *pointedly looks at our marble floors*

I know teenagers are supposed to be dramatic, but she’s talking like a forlorn wife, who haven’t seen her husband for years...

Some glorified, pseudo-romantic self harm as a treat:

Then he’d picked me up and spun me in a circle, and I’d clung to him, ... Dimly, I’d been aware that I still had a shard of the blue cup in my hand, that it was digging into my palm, but I didn’t want to let go.

It’s not like Alina can’t let the shard fall. How is she even holding it, if she’s hugging Malyen? Why would she hug him with closed fist? Aside from being too stupid not to cut her own hand on purpose...

Kinda funny her bestie couldn’t wait to hug her after a day? Two? Away, but doesn’t notice her palm is “dripping blood” and heads for lunch. Peak romance.

Another little detail about how “bad” did those orphans have it: Alina stops working and runs off, yet there is no repercussion mentioned.

In case you’re wondering, why should you cry about Ana Kuya in Ruin and Rising, she’s obviously loving guardian. A girl mutilates herself, what’s worse- she gets the floor dirty!

I’m taking it back, the self-harm is okay. Malyen kissed it better. Two years later...

Wow, this mutually incosiderate codependency’s so romantic, it almost makes me cry (tears of frustration and thinly veiled disgust).

Ivan’s so nice. Malina got whole night and he lets them make out right in front of his salad anyway.

pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 4, pt. 5, pt. 6, pt. 7, pt. 8, tag for all icluding the rest